Journey/Journal [most recent at bottom]
July 11, 2009
Yoga has been a growing part of my life for the last 10 years or so. I have practiced and been a student of many teachers here in Atlanta and when I travel. Much gratitude to all my teachers. For my birthday last year I went to Esalen for a weeklong yoga workshop (a gift from my sweety). I think that was when it finally sunk in that I wanted to continue in earnest my training to teach yoga.
I
had taken classes with Rutu Chaudhari in the past. I was drawn to her
gentle approach to teaching. When she offered her first Purna Yoga
Teacher Training here in Atlanta I knew I had found my teacher. I did
not know anything about Purna Yoga. I knew that Rutu had moved across
the country to be near her teacher, Aadil Palkhivala and that she had
2,000 hours of training in Purna Yoga. Most Yoga Teacher Training
courses have 200 hour and 500 hour classifications.
Purna
Yoga is an alignment based system of yoga. It centers on the heart, the
wisdom of your heart center. It teaches us to come from a place of love
not fear, not force. It uses certain meditation techniques to give the
opportunity to offer your mind and your ego to the wisdom in your
heart. The yoga asanas are a way to train the body to feel stronger and
to ready the body for the influx of the spirit, the light.
I
would like to share my experiences of my training as we progress to
complete our 200 hour training. There are 10 of us attending the
training. We meet roughly two weekends a month for 5 months. The first
thing we were all asked to do was to forget all we had been previously
taught about yoga! We are learning so much about the body and how to
actually teach the asanas to anyone, especially beginners and those new
to yoga. We are learning how the body is properly aligned for each
person in each posture. We do a practice each day and have lessons and
discussion and hands on each day.
Today five students did
practice as led by Rutu and the other five observed, then in the
afternoon we switched. I was in the first group to practice. When we
finally came to Shivasana, Corpse Pose, I was having a hard time
clearing my mind. With this group that was unusual for me. I have been
able to clear my mind completely and really connect to that glowing,
growing white light in my heart center. Not today. I could not get this
picture out of my head. I had a picture in my mind of a dog with its
hind legs tucked under it. Not moving, just laying there. I mentioned
it to a fellow student. I said to her, "It is so strange that I was
seeing this, I wonder if someone was thinking of a dog during our
Shivasana." We took a break and when we came back the observers talked
about what they observed in the students practicing. We talked about
the spine and the differences in each student's body. One of the
observers related the importance of the spine by telling a story about
this dog that was having spinal issues and not able to walk. She had
been writing about it when we were in our Shivasana! I had unknowingly
picked up on these thoughts during a very receptive part of our
practice. I brought it up later to the group when Rutu began a
discussion on how important it is for the teacher to hold the space,
hold the energy of the space during Shivasana. A very good
(astonishing) lesson for today.
More as it comes in.
much love,
Anna
------------------------------------------
At the end of our second session weekend (June 21), one of our homework assignments had been to memorize the poem "If" by Rudyard Kipling. You will see why this is an important fact in just a minute.
Today Rutu had a surprise for us. Aadil was in Atlanta and was going to come to visit us! Today! We were all so excited that we spontaneously applauded. Aadil Palkhivala is the founder of Purna Yoga along with his wife Mirra. Purna means complete. Complete in the fact that we are approaching the asanas as a single part of this yoga system. 1. Asana and Pranayama (breath), 2. Nutrition, 3. Meditation and 4. Philosophy are the four limbs of Purna Yoga. The philosophy portion is based on the writings of Sri Aurobindo and The Mother.
We were of course, excited so Rutu had us do our Meditation "snacks" to recenter ourselves, to reconnect with the peace and wisdom at our heart center. When we finished up, there in front of us sat Aadil, smiling, beaming at us. I did not know until later how much of an honor it was for him to be with us. Apparently, Aadil does not attend any of the 200 hour training programs, only the 500 hour programs. We were very lucky and blessed indeed. We sat a bit just smiling and then we chanted Om together. He spoke about the importance of Purna Yoga for the evolution of the human race. How inviting your spirit, your light, the Divine into your body will ease the suffering of the challenges of this evolution. He answered some questions from us concerning finding our Dharma (what we were born to do), his relationship with his teacher B. K. S. Iyengar, and the philosophy of Sri Aurobindo. Then came time for "Poetry"!
Aadil had each of us come to the front of the room to recite a few lines of the "If" poem. The poem is about a father telling his son if he can rise above a long list of incredible challenges he will be a man. Each one of us had (somewhat) memorized the poem but when we stood in front of the group stage fright set in. We froze. Each one of us in turn, froze up. When I got up I could not remember the lines. I looked up at the ceiling, shaken. He asked me to look at my group. As I looked at each one I saw that they were all smiling at me. I felt such a wave of love, so accepted. Aadil was so kind. He told us it was ok, that he actually just wanted us to feel how it felt to be uncomfortable in front of the group. Whew!
There is more. Now we each had to get up again and project, feel the words, ennunciate and almost act out the words. He gave me direction while standing behind me. He put his hand on my back and had me really feeling what it would be like to have experienced this, "if you can bear to hear the truth you've spoken, twisted by knaves to make a trap for fools, or watch what you gave your life to broken, and stoop and build it up with worn out tools". He had me almost twist my body on the word "twisted." Each one of us got direction in this way. It was challenging, funny and enlightening. I was really getting a sense of this poem. That Rudyard Kipling was talking about the yogic way. That no matter what life throws at you, you can use the experiences to become a better person.
After Aadil left we all stood in a semicircle, feeling very honored. Each one of us took turns going to the front of the group. Rutu instructed us to look each person in the eye for one full inhale and exhale. What an amazing thing this is to do. I started feeling a little weepy and light headed. Such a wave of love to receive the full gaze of a person for a full breath shared together. (x 10)
I have so much gratitude for such an amazing and surreal day.
------------------------------------------
August 5, 2009
There
is a Reflection Report due by our next meeting on August 14 concerning
Aadil's book, "The Fire of Love" and how it has (or has not) affected
me. There are so many concepts in the book that seem so simple. Simple,
until I try to put them into practice. The concepts seem perfectly
logical, moral and humane. Here is the practice: Today, try to have
compassion for the guy in the lane next to me when he cuts me off and
does not let me into the lane even though I have had my blinker on for
about two miles. Today, if someone snaps at me, is rude to me, or
sarcastic, try to recognize these traits in myself or the potential for
them. Today, try to understand that the little man that wants to
ruin a beautiful stretch of beach with a giant bathroom structure is
just following his own dharma. Today, notice what in my life keeps
me from my own dharma. Today, listen to that small little voice in
my heart that is telling me the truth about EVERYTHING. The voice in my
heart may be so quiet that I cannot hear it because the ego is very
loud. Get to a quiet space, place, moment, listen carefully. That is
where to find the Heart Center and it loves me NO MATTER WHAT.
You can do this, too. Put your right hand on your Heart Center anytime
you feel challenged, threatened, tense, angry, sad, etc. Know that is
where your truth is. It is not hokey, baloney, new age gobbledy gook.
It is the Divine love that is there, underneath all of your reasons for
not wanting to go there. It is the Divine love underneath all your fear.
More and more, soon.
Anna
------------------------------------------
August 30, 2009
This
weekend was intense. Saturday morning we had a slow meditative
restorative practice and a long seated meditation as it started to rain
outside. It turned dark and cool in the studio. Rutu was leading us
inward. If you have ever gotten past the fidgets to actually sit still
and quiet for a length of time, you may know what I am talking about.
Not every aspect of ourselves is bright and happy. We all have a dark
side. Mixed with the first hints of the fall weather to come, a shift
happened in the room. Some of us were crying. I was having a hard time.
It was manifesting as pain in my hamstring. It was hard to stay
focused. We find that our body sends messages. Possibly to help us be
more aware of a certain aspect of ourselves, possibly to instruct us on
how to be more accepting and quite possibly it is the ego trying to distract us. The
ego does not want to lose control. That is exactly what needs to
happen. When we fight it what it means is that we are afraid to
surrender. We are afraid to trust the Divine Light. I have to step back
and say, "My surrender is not perfect." and release more.
------------------------------------------
September 4, 2009
Today
we reviewed the restorative postures. We reviewed the teaching of
pranayama. Prana means breath, life force. We discussed breath work and
why it is so important, especially for beginning students, to learn it
correctly. We practiced teaching each other the fundamentals of each
stage of pranayama. We talked about how popular certain types of yoga
have become and how this Purna Yoga comes from the heart. Purna Yoga
teaches us that the purpose of our meditation and asana practice is to
help us discover, explore and fulfill our dharma. If your dharma is to
be a writer, an artist, a lawyer, a mother, a sailor, whatever it may
be, your yoga practice should open the way for you to fulfill your
dharma. If you feel the need to stand on your head for 20 minutes or do
Scorpion Pose in the middle of the studio, ask yourself what am I
serving. If you are doing it because it is fun, ok, that's cool but
truly ask yourself, "Is this serving my dharma?" "Is this serving my
ego?"
------------------------------------------
September 6, 2009
Labor
Day Weekend. It seems appropriate that we were in the studio all
weekend, working. It is tough work. It is fulfilling work. It is what
we were meant to do right now. When we asked Rutu why we were all
feeling pain, sometimes pains we have not felt before this practice,
her answer was so wise. It is because now, you are ready to face what
it is that is hurting you. Now, you are strong enough to heal it. Now,
you have the right tools. So, inward and onward.
During
our meditation practice yesterday evening and this morning I felt a
real shift. The words that Rutu chooses she chooses carefully. My body
eased its tension from holding a long sitting posture. When that
happened my heart just opened up and gratitude poured in.
Mirra
has said that we cannot "help" others. We can only help them remember
the Light. First we must nurture and cultivate that Light in ourselves.
Meditation is the time for the exploration of our dharma. Not to ask
and keep asking "what is my dharma" but to open a space for the
realization to happen.
Anna
------------------------------------------
Saturday, October 10, 2009
There was a shift today. I felt it towards the end of our long day.
At
one o'clock today we had invited our friends to come to class to let us
teach them, to let us get practice teaching. It felt like we were
inviting people to our home. We neatly set up the room before they
arrived with mats and props. Some of our guests had been practicing
yoga for years. A few were very new to yoga. The difference in
knowledge levels was challenging to teach. We took turns coming to the
front of the room to lead the class. Drew started us off with centering
our minds and chanting Om. The sound was so amazing. It reverberated
through the room, through my body. With just a few more voices added to
ours the room vibrated in a magical way. The tone of our chant, the
sincerity of the intention, the calming and collecting of our minds was
very powerful. It is not a coincidence that the word 'Om' sounds like
the word 'Home.' It really is a coming home to your true self.
We
continued taking turns as Rutu called us up. Each one of us came to the
front and led the class in a posture. We instructed as we have been
taught, root, then lift. A plant grows roots before the stalk, as Aadil
says. We looked around the room to take note of our students. We
adjusted as needed. Before we knew it, two full hours had flown by. We
lay in Shivasana and absorbed and integrated our practice.
After
the session we talked to the students. I was surprised to get such
positive feedback. The beginner student was very appreciative. She had
done every pose! Her confidence level had gone up and she wanted to
come back for more classes. Our confidence as teachers had ascended a
few notches as well.
There was the shift. What had
changed was our belief in ourselves. We now felt in our hearts that we
could do what we had set out to do when we signed up for this 200 Hour
Purna Yoga Teacher Training. Yes, now we could teach. Maybe a little
shakily, but we could teach.
------------------------------------------
November 2009
The
day was drawing near when we would have our last weekend together. So
many things had surfaced, shifted and settled in our lives. The journey
of a few months could never be the measure for all that had changed in
our lives. We had learned so much about ourselves when our purpose had
been to learn yoga.
This time as a student has allowed me
to "reboot," as my yogi friend says. It has allowed me to take steps
toward a new perspective. It has given me the deeper meanings as to why
I teach. It has given me more compassion. It has given me a heightened
sense of gratitude.
Rutu had gently guided us through the
entire process. Her depth of knowledge with her kind demeanor were the
rock of our instruction. She has continued to look after us fledglings
as we fly and flutter out into the world. We spread our wings with the
message that you are ok and that Purna yoga will help you to realize
and come home to your true self.
Anna Hamer